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Relationships

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Era of faking identity: Useful insights for dating in the 21st century

By Ewa Chiamaka

Just as marriage is an institution with unlimited number of years same goes to dating which has been in existence for decades and gets even trickier. Most people will agree that the process of selecting a life partner is undoubtedly intricate but the 21st century depicts a whole different ball game.

Before the birth of internet and instant messaging, things were less complicated. Lovers actually took their time to write long letters or send telegraphs from city to city and sometimes over the ocean.

In this modern era, dating seems to be a digital thing, let’s just tag it the “digital era”. We tend to display all sorts of unrealistic couple goals via social media platforms that eventually amounts to nothing. Individuals are increasingly constructing two identities: their online and offline identity. It is now a life of our actual selves – who we actually are – and our “ought” selves – who we think other people want us to be.’

What happened to a proper, honest, face-to-face communication. Unfortunately, for a generation practically weaned on telecommunication devices, person-to-person communication cannot come to play.

One thing today’s youth fail to understand is the fact that there is no perfect man or woman, the Holy Spirit is still working on each of us. It is good to have an ideal partner on your mind, if you do not aim for something, you would not hit it. God will give you raw material so that in the process through you, He brings out the final and finished product.

Just because a man doesn’t have a sleek car, then he is rejected. This value system is corrupt, dangerous and unhealthy for Christian relationships. A true healthy relationship will be ready to purchase a cheap supermarket cake, place a candle on it and celebrate the joy of knowing and having one another.

It is therefore important in a relationship to not discard or throw away a good thing God brings your way because they do not look like the mythic you had always thought about. Also, any man who describes you only by your externals is your biggest cause for alarm. Do not build your relationship on his description of your outer qualities, without reference to who you are on the inside. The externals are fleeting and could change.

Today, Christian marriages have been put to a halt due to false personalities. Imagine a lady who initially wanted a “perfect man” by all means but couldn’t possess such then she approaches the stage when her biological clock is ticking, this surmounts to desperation. She eventually dives into the hands of any man that comes her way not minding their flaws. I put it to you that as time goes on in that marriage the lady will definitely show her real personality which might not be easily condoned by the man. Situations like this lead to separation or divorce.

Relationships should be healthy, the chance of one person feeling used should not exist or where one person is using the other to advance their own intentions should be out of the picture.

Relationships should be healthy, the chance of one person feeling used should not exist or where one person is using the other to advance their own intentions should be out of the picture.