By Ezinwanne Onwuka
Relationships are full of happy moments, commitment, care but also uncertainties, betrayals, and most times a cheating partner.
Sometimes, you know the signs that your relationship is hitting the rocks and make the next move. But, how about times when you are so committed in love that you fail to see the truth of your relationship? How would you identify a cheating partner?
The following are signs that tell you your partner is cheating.
Non-sexual intimacy drops down drastically
Intimacy has a significant role to play in any relationship. A relationship is not always about how amazing a sex-life you have or how sexually active you are. It goes much deeper than the sex. There are gestures like a hug, caressing, a gentle peck, patting or a simple act of holding hands which define your closeness. If you feel that there is a sudden change in the way your partner treats you, it is time to pay attention.
His/her friends don’t seem as friendly as they used to be
With infidelity, you, the betrayed partner, is nearly always the last person to find out. Your partner’s friends often know about the infidelity right from the start, and your own friends are likely to find out long before you do as well. This knowledge typically causes these individuals to feel uncomfortable around you. Your partner’s friends might try to avoid you or to be overly nice to you. Your own friends may try to avoid conversations about your relationship, and they might overcompensate by being extra nice because they know something you don’t.
Starts blaming you unnecessarily
The social behaviour of your partner might change rapidly, if he/she has developed interest in another person. In a love relationship or marriage, an excessive and unnecessary blame game is never a good sign. It shows your partner is either trying to control you or giving you a reason to move out of the relationship.
Secretive phone or computer use
Cheating partners tend to use their phones and/or computers more frequently than before and to guard them as if their lives depend on it. If your partner’s phone and laptop never required a password before, and now they do, that’s not a good sign. If your partner suddenly starts deleting texts and clearing their browser history on a daily basis, that’s not a good sign too.
If your partner never relinquishes possession of their phone, even taking it into the bathroom when they shower, that’s also not a good sign. If you ask to use your partner’s phone, and they say no, that’s a problem. Honestly, what could possibly be there — other than information about your surprise birthday — that they would want to keep secret?
Starts hiding things from you
It is the very first, and probably the most obvious sign that your partner is cheating on you. The sign of a healthy relationship is how comfortable the partners are about sharing details of their personal lives. Sharing makes you understand each other better. It makes your partner feel important and desired. However, a partner that has become disinterested in the relationship does not see the need to share things he/she would otherwise share in a normal circumstance.
He/she is easily offended
When a person is drifting away from you, you become more of a liability to them. Anything you do or say might offend your cheating partner as they are no longer interested in analyzing your intentions and overlooking the offence.
Avoids social activities with you
When you are in a committed relationship, you ought to do social activities together. You move in a common circle, have similar interests, attend events together. If this becomes less often, your partner owes you an explanation. At times, giving your partner some space is important. But if you observe that you are no longer in your partner’s social circle, you might need to sit and have a serious discussion about it.
If your partner is showing any of these signs, or things just don’t feel right to you, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask what’s going on, Hopefully, there would be good explanation.