Contempt, defensiveness…signs your partner’s love for you has started fading

By Nwele Euphemia

Falling out of love with someone we are in a relationship with is a tricky thing. It is tricky because half of the time, we do not realize that we are out of love yet till there’s no hope of resurrection.

First you start feeling empty, like there’s an invisible hole in your heart that needs to be filled up, it is painful because you feel your partner drifting away from you without you even knowing why.

Those things that you used to cherish in your partner would become irritable to you, you would keep losing interest day by day, the calls and chats from your end would be limited.

The love starts to fade away before the actual breakup and loss of the person you are in the relationship with. It’s confusing for you because you start to wonder where all the excitement, joy, and attraction that made you come alive before, ran off to.

In as much as no one deliberately choose to fall out of love, people fall out of love for various reasons; and most times, even though it is difficult to admit, it happens for the best. I mean, you would not want to be in a loveless marriage, so backing out before the union, is advisable.

To the man/woman whose partner has fallen out of love with, it is heart breaking and sometimes shocking to them, because though they might have noticed the drifting apart, they would not have read meaning into it.

To them, they wonder how they missed the signs, they thought they were that special someone in your live – ‘the one’, they never noticed that you stopped calling or texting, because they do not mind calling you or texting you.

They are puzzled when they find out, and feel stupid that they could not read between the lines, that they could not see that the reason you did not miss them when they are gone for long was because the love has faded.

In as much as no one deliberately choose to fall out of love, people fall out of love for various reasons; and most times, even though it is difficult to admit, it happens for the best. I mean, you would not want to be in a loveless marriage, so backing out before the union, is advisable.

Telling when your partner is falling out of love can be difficult, but here are some signs that could help you know:

• Criticism: do you constantly blame or attack your partner? Are you blaming or attacking your partner?
• Defensiveness: do you reject his opinions and close off on wanting to get his feedback on things?
• Contempt: do you roll your eyes, mock or push your partner away?
• Stonewalling: do you shut down the door of communication, not wanting to talk to him/her?

If you do the above things, then, chances are that the love in your relationship is fading out on your end, and you are falling out of love with your partner.

Falling in love/attraction is easy, but, falling out of love is even easier, so you need to be sure that what you have with your partner is love, not infatuation is your motive and you need to also understand your partner beyond mare feelings – that way, it only gets better in your relationship.

Read other relationship articles written by the author here.