Crushing on the other person

By Nwele Euphemia

The tingle you feel as you watch her/him pass by, the bliss you feel when you think of her/him, the chills that run down your spine when they talk to you, when they say your name or smile at what you have said.

Watching her/his moves from a distance, you even feel like you know her/him more than he/she might know herself/himself, you long to talk to her/him for a long time, to feel her/his pain and laughter, to be a part of her/his now and tomorrow.

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Crushes!!!

Everyone of us has had that one person we really liked or even loved so much for a long time, from a distance and close by. That one person we wished was more than a stranger, classmate, or friend to us, and yes! It was more exciting having this feeling back in high school, the sincerity, the tension when you see him/her walk pass.

It is a feeling I personally would want to experience over and over again. But what happens when you are never noticed? When it remains a mere crush for as long as forever, how do you back out? How do you know where to draw the line and change your focus?

Having a crush on someone is one thing, having that person reciprocate the love and attention is another, also, since it is a crush, a tingle, a feeling, if you do not make a move, the person you are crushing on might never find out about how much you care and want to be with them.

There could be a thin line between crushing on someone and obsessing over the person. That is why it is advisable to let whoever you are crushing on know how you feel about them, tell them, they just might happen to feel the same way and when they do not – that is the indication you need to back out of the game.

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It is difficult coming clean to someone you like, expressing your feelings, but it is good you try to do that, rather than clinging to unattainable feelings. You should trust the persons response, when he/she says ‘I am sorry, I do not feel the same way, thank you though’ or when they say ‘it is going to disrupt our beautiful friendship and I do not want to risk that’ – please try as much as possible to move on.

Do not dwell on ‘maybes’, do not go thinking that five years from now she/he might feel different about me. If that would happen it will, but until it does – move on. Do not go harassing him/her all in the name of crushes, do not go stalking or obsessing, because sometimes when you overthink your feelings, you definitely would create fantasies of what you want to do with this person, which results into you trying to actualize this fantasies with your crush whenever you get the chance.

Therefore, the boundary is in being sure, in confronting your feelings and asking the other person if they feel the same. Their response is what you act on. Take that ‘NO’ seriously no matter how hard it seems, act upon that ‘YES’ you get.

I hope this article was helpful, do let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section, you can also send me your questions on Instagram @euphe_mya.

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