How to handle relationship fears

By Nwele Euphemia

People are bound to be scared of one thing or the other in their life, but then, relationship fears is something that most people go through without being able to pin point it as such. It kills relationships and restricts your emotions; it is like creating a wall between yourself and your future partner or your present partner.

Fears in one’s relationship progresses from fear of abandonment, to doubts about starting a family. Fears about your partner cheating, fear of commitment, losing support, not being good enough, trust, long distance relationship and so on.

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When you have had things happen to you in your past relationship, it is natural that you worry about it happening again while other are just difficult for you to comprehend.

Relationship fears create a feeling of insecurity around you, you become edgy and you give yourself reasons why your relationship will fail before it even starts. Its like killing your relationship before you get a chance to even be in that relationship.

Despite the fact that relationship fears emerge from past experiences – a bad relationship, family background and so on, it is workable. A lady who had a lot of guys cheat on her in the past would definitely develop the fear of trust in her relationships, same goes to a guy who has had a lot of ladies’ cheat on him in the past too.

People react differently to their relationship fears, for some, it makes them cling to their partner come rain come shine, not minding whether they suffer in the relationship and they tend to create a thing around rejection, rejection and being alone becomes their worst enemy.

For others, it makes them hate the idea of relationships, they just want to be able to meet their sexual needs with no attachment or commitment. Also, you have people who because of their fears, take solace in their career, the same gender as themselves, addictions or even weird habits. They see these things as a safe place, a place where their fears won’t creep in on them.

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In relationship fears are bound to happen, bound to come in, they are not inevitable but how we choose to handle it goes a long way in determining if we would grow above it and overcome these fears.

Overcoming this fear is difficult, but it is advisable to work with your partner on it, talk to your partner, open up to each other about your fears and that way you both bond and understand yourselves better. You would be able to work out these fears together and you also avoid having your fears used against you by your partner.

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