‘Know the motive’ — How to deal with men who offer gifts in exchange for sex

By Euphemia Nwele

“A man’s gift maketh room for him…” (Proverbs 18:16)

Some men seem to be backing this verse of the Holy book when they give gifts to ladies, but then I would call it truth twisting, as the true intentions behind the gift showering is unknown.

Once a guy buys you a gift, no matter its worth (a dollar, N100, 200 dirhams) he feels this sudden entitlement towards you, like he owns you or like he now has access to your body. This only shows his real intentions of getting you as a lady the gift.

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Some guys want you to take the hint, to understand the hidden meaning towards his romantic gesture of buying you gifts. They buy you gifts early on and you accepting is like you saying yes to everything else they want from you.

You talk about wanting a new phone and a guy friend tells you he would get you one, he says this in hope of opening the cookie jar. (This article is talking about guys who see gifts giving as an opportunity to get laid, you should know that there are various reasons as to why a guy could give you gifts and not all points to sexual advances)

Gifts from men are mostly traps to lure you into an anticipated cause, as such women are urged to know the motive behind the gifts he is about to send your way before you accept them.

Understanding why some men do this is a tale for another day, but then guys; women are not pets that you buy gifts for to make them happy with you and go tail wagging at your request, no one likes an emotional blackmail so coming out head on to tell her what exactly you want from her is not a bad idea. If you want sex say it, it would amaze you to know that some women also just want sex from you.

As women, being independent of your needs also prevents you from falling into loop holes. Know the motive before accepting the gift.

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