Struggling with baggage in your relationship
By Nwele Euphemia
Baggage is having an emotional trauma caused by experiences in someone’s past. Baggage causes range from experiencing a bad relationship or family problems. This article is quite similar to the one I wrote on relationship fears, but this is broader while fears is precise.
Everyone have some form of baggage: ex-boyfriend baggage (this happens when you are not over your ex), appetite baggage ( not being able to control your eating in a way that it irks your partner), family baggage (this is a very common baggage, this has to do with family issues, how it affects you and you bringing it to your relationship makes it difficult to work out your relationship), waiting to be hurt baggage, rejection baggage and much more.
Dating someone with a baggage is difficult because most times the relationship is over before it even starts, however, people with baggage when they decide to be in a relationship with you, they are ready to work out the relationship with you and also risk their hearts. They have large tendencies of being faithful.
Because, almost everyone have a baggage they are dealing with, when two people with baggage decide to go into a relationship, there is less stress, less judgement (they can not judge you because they too are messed up), you both would better understand each other’s issue, you both would be able to love each other more and connect more, there’s better understanding, they are both focused because they both know what it is they want from each other.
You both understand how best to love yourselves – whether to take it slow or with the speed of light, how best to sort out situations, how best to make each other overcome past mistakes and issues.
When dealing with baggage in your relationship; always communicate, pay attention to each others thoughts and pain, patterns and reactions, take things slow and steady, be patient and understanding, be open and hel your partner open up to you too, have empathy (learn to put yourself in your partners shoes it would help you understand better), therapy is also advisable.
It is tough having to bottle things up, it is tougher walking down a part alone, everyone have things that they are not proud of and figuring out how to deal with relationship baggage is not easy. The love you share with your partner is to doomed because of your baggage, it is even better when you have someone holding your hand as you walk down the road of throwing away all your relationship baggage.
For you to successfully work on the baggage you have, you have to first own up to it, then focus on yourself, your partner is not wholly responsible for unpacking your baggage, you have to first do so, accept yourself, come to terms with your feelings and do not allow it consume you.
You as a person matters first, your partner is just there to support you.
What other baggage have you heard of? Do let me know by commenting.