Why you should strive to live not just exist

By EveEden

Mostly, I am engaged in deep thoughts, finding no answers to the mysterious life we are called to live without our consent. I remember growing up, birthdays were cherished. It means growing up to live my fantasy dreams.  I anticipated my new ages because it means a scale for me to enjoy freedom and less of coaching from older siblings and parents. I would lie on my bed thinking on who I would become; couldn’t wait to get older, couldn’t wait to be something. I wish I can say the same at this stage.

Now that I am here; I wish I am still younger. I am nostalgic of my younger days. Birthdays these days means getting older; not growing up.  It means an evaluation of what I have achieved and what I hope for to add to my status in the next age. Mostly I am bent on becoming successful; adding more digits to my bank accounts, build a repute image among peers firstly before adding that I would be happy and enjoy my life too.

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I recognized that my scale of preference was such because; our society equates material security to happiness and a life fulfilled. We were tutored that we go to school to become rich not to understand our world better.  We were taught that acquiring a car makes you more esteemed than those who juggle over commercial transits or a perpetual trekker who couldn’t afford the fare.  I haven’t seen a kid who doesn’t nurse the ambition of owing cars, mansions but sadly none who says; I just want to be happy, be happy and remain happy because I have no choice.  We celebrate and adore the super wealthy people; not necessarily that they are good people but because of the money.

I clamour that we should break free from many irrational traditions that society patterned for us to live. Every individual needs to set a way to live his or her life. I don’t see anything wrong in home tutoring your child up till the child is of age. These days even stay at home mothers still chase off their child to school to begin day care, kindergarten and preschool. I perceive this as just trying to fit in to societal demands before tongues would wag that you are penniless or doesn’t value education. I remember that I heaved a sign of happiness the day I have read an article of a Calabar Nigerian daughter whose parents home tutored till she was ready to sit for her school leaving certificate. The parents created a school in their home employing different private teachers and the end the child turned brilliant. To me, I loved it even though I have no plans of trailing this footstep, but I was happy that the parents didn’t care of societal influence or opinions.

Personally, I think the chase for degrees is overrated in Nigeria. If only the society can recognize that varsity education is not for everyone and that secondary school is the height of all learning. I bet we would be able have better inputs in our society; since everyone is at liberty to pursue what she or he adores than doing the obvious thing – get a degree. In the process the individual conforms to society wills.

Personally, I think the chase for degrees is overrated in Nigeria. If only the society can recognize that varsity education is not for everyone and that secondary school is the height of all learning. I bet we would be able have better inputs in our society; since everyone is at liberty to pursue what she or he adores than doing the obvious thing – get a degree. In the process the individual conforms to society wills.

After graduation, due to the gap in time already; you are more focused at that which would earn you cash soonest. God help me to bear a talented kid, I won’t hesitate to nurture that kid talent by going into it vocationally than to hamper them with pursuit for a degree.  A countdown of most successful people are those who never or left the school walls and trudged off to mould their passions.

Why throw a wedding for a thousand people and there would be scarcity of food? but abundant food if only you had invited 100 persons?.  At the end, the number of people you invited won’t matter or how lavish your wedding was. All that matters is that you have a lasting fruitful marriage.  I don’t mind throwing a classy wedding for just 50 guests than to go normal with societal and let a thousand storms my wedding. At the end they would be ungrateful, snare and complain that the food was not enough, the meat resembles a bean and the drinks couldn’t quench their thirst.

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Why must the size of our homes be a yardstick in measuring our wealth and even happiness? “Oh! James lives in massive duplex and his compound is large enough to entertain a presidential feast.

He must be overjoyed and money is not his problem. Says who?  What if is on rent and half of his wages goes into renewing the house leaving him a peanut to survive on. He is just living in the house to flaunt to foes and probably friends that he is capable and has an expensive taste. At night, you only get to sleep in a room, the wall geckos and lizards are left to pass the nights in the other rooms.

I know a number of families who live in a huge house but the inside of the home is in disharmony not to mention their budget for feeding not in quantity but quality. All this is to appear rich to another individual. The husband keeps pondering how can my family of five live in 3-bedroom flat and be a shame to my colleagues? They would presume that I live in a hive when I can rent a duplex and pride myself.  Which is better? – That you live in that hive and have rest of mind than live in the dup keep a daily vigilant; so anxious on how to make ends meet.

Before you know it, you are above 60 and old age and its crisis tag along. At the end you did not live your life but always managed to exist.  Why go purchase a car, when you are at war with eating a quality meal and grooming yourself physically and health wise.  When you buy the car, you constantly have nightmares when the wind screen fails and the engine needs re-fixing. You become peevish till the issue is fixed. The base of it all is that you unconsciously surrender your happiness to a car that would continue to exist after your earthly demise.

Society is not helping. Most of our society patterns need abolishment. Most things our society encourages us to do have no deeper significant meaning. We can do without those and still be alive. We should focus on being mostly happy because no matter how we go after material comfort; our lives remain temporal. For some of us, as we get older, wisdom flows in and we understand the world better but others are yet to recognize that to live is a gift that would disappear someday.

This alters our choices in life and I am a victim. My choices in life have really gone under tremendous revolution. My needs and wants a year ago are not replica. Of course, I still yearn for material comfort but I can testify that my happiness is priority.  I am much paranoid about turning thirty and more; when I would get to worry about the wrinkles near my smile and yet still not contended with my material trophies. To avoid this, I have to be appreciative for my abundant and lacks and in my lacks still merry.

Always remember no matter how much wealth we emasculate, or the tedious stress we go through to live our dreams; we would instantly vanish at a snap. The crux here is not to aspire to have wealth and transform the world but not at the expense of your health, happiness, freedom and those priceless things. Don’t chase wealth at the expense of your human nature. We are nothing but vanity. Make it count by living it.

Don’t chase wealth at the expense of your human nature. We are nothing but vanity. Make it count by living it.

 

 

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